May 9, 2007
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When my kids were growing up, I was always concerned about the “in-law” jokes, especially those about mother-in-laws. We were always protrayed as such a negative lot. I wanted so much to have a good relationship with my children-in-law. I wanted them to see me as another mother, and, hopefully, that would be a good thing. Nick and I were so far away from both our parents for the first 15 years of our marriage, so we had only minimal relationship with either set of parents. I had little to go on. Then Nicole joined our family.
She added a clarity and decisiveness that we lacked. For many years we were very close friends. Problems came though, and for a season there were differences. But we are restoring what we had, and never during that hard time did Nicole do anything to discredit us or alienate us to our grandchildren. In fact, in spite of whatever was going on, she encouraged the girls to love us and visit us. I am incredibly grateful for that nobleness of character. I am also thankful that we are restoring our friendship. I had missed it!
Happy Birthday, Nicole!!
No depressing in-law jokes for us!! Just a great friendship!
Comments (8)
What a lovely way to say Happy Birthday…
Restoration!!! What a great word.
How is she still an in-law when I have divorced her? Even my co-workers are astounded at how you will sacrifice the relationship of you own son to cling to her. And as for nobleness of character just remember she is trying to take me to the bank with her lawyers and until there was mediation she would not let me have the girls for an entire weekend. Thank you for again rubbing salt in the wound and showing me were I stand. And yes I know that you will delete this message because it does not agree with you glowing report but I had to say it anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, I won’t delete your comment. It would make mine sound foolish. But just to set matters straight.
1. You are not divorced yet. For now she is my daughter-in-law, and she will also remain my friend even when she is no longer married to you. I am still capable of choosing my friends.
2. I can only imagine where your co-workers got the idea that I am choosing her over you. I have no problem loving you and loving her whether you agree with each other or not. I have many children, grandchildren, in-laws and friends. I intend to love them all and still have love for more!
3. I am not sacrificing my relationship to you. You disowned us, not the other way around. You are my son, and I still love you. I would love to have a relationship with you, but you have chosen to distance yourself, and I will respect your decision.
4. Nicole has no desire to “take you to the bank with her lawyers”. From what I have heard, only standard papers have been sent. If something else has come to you, you need to communicate that to them or to her and not be offended without knowing the truth.
5. Mediation was her idea, not yours. She wanted to establish a method of communicating about the girls and their needs.
6. Before mediation, the girls spent one day every weekend with you. After, they spend two days every other week. According to my math, the number is the same. This is what you had agreed upon ahead of time. In addition, she drives the girls halfway to your house, which is definitely an extra.
7. I have no idea where you think you stand in reference to us. We haven’t changed. We love you, and we enjoy your company when you aren’t angry and yelling at us. I simply cannot base my life on unforgiveness and anger. One day I am sure you will be glad that I do not easily hold a grudge.
Finally, this is my blog and I am happy with my life. I have many people who love me and whom I love, and I have much happiness in my life. Nick has never loved me as much, and I am at peace with God. I am not trying to create a false image with “glowing reports.” I am writing what is in my heart and in my heart, I am happy, at peace and blessed!
You are a valued friend. Thanks for keeping us updated on birthdays! I always miss the exact date. Can you believe how little Dimitri had changed?
Love and hugs…
I so enjoyed reading your comment above. . . . pretty mentally healthy in my opinion.
Hi, thanks for weighing in on the baby bikinis. I could not have said it better. You’re a treasure~
Oh my, lots has been going on here…. I just came by to thank you for supporting my comment on cltgrace’s site..