July 15, 2006
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A friend wrote a post about taking a day off to spend with his family. He said he used a Ten Year Principle to make the decision. I really liked that. His principle involves asking the question, “In ten years, which will I remember doing?” I was reminded of a principle that I have used to make some hard decisions.
I called it my Rocking Chair Priniciple. When my second child was born, I had a very hard time with the delivery and then the baby died after 10 hours. Somehow the nurses didn’t realize how sick he was so there was no medical intervention until he was dying. For this I was glad because I was able to hold him and comfort him all night. He might have died even if there had been help or perhaps he would have been brain damaged. In any event, I was terrified of having another child. I struggled with the fear for the month or so as I began to heal. Then one day as I pondered the situation, I pictured myself in a rocking chair, 80 or more years old. I thought, “Will I be sitting there regretting that I didn’t even try?” I told myself that I didn’t need to be brave, I just needed to pretend I was and move on. So I decided not to let fear rule my decisions.
The Bible says that bad roots make bad fruit. Fear qualifies as a bad root, and from what I could tell, only bad would come from a decision based on fear (or anger, or bitterness, or any number of other negative motives.) The result of that decision to ignore the fear and live my life is that I had three more children born to me after that experience and also a god-daughter whom we were able to include in our family. If I live to 80 and end up sitting in a rocker pondering my life, I will remember with joy, the decision to reach out instead of shut down, to push forward instead of run away from and to live instead of dying piece by piece.
Comments (4)
What an inspirational post!! Thank you for sharing this little piece of your life, and for giving us all an example of how Hope answers prayers. Wonderful lesson, my friend.
That’s a good principle.
Hey..
RYC: Sorry I made you cry
Glad you were blessed by what I had written. Just wanted to stop by and say thanks for the comments. They are always appreciated. May I ask you to keep our family in your prayers. This week has been very tough for us as a family for various reasons. We are faced with some decisions that will not prove popular with all involved, but none-the-less we must follow what the Lord is telling us. Also, I want to ask that you please pray for our house to sale. It has been on the market for three months, only one showing and we need it to sale to assure that we can help our son fulfill his education and training as a Missionary Pilot. He is due back to school on the 11th of August. We would so much appreciate your prayers.
In Christ Alone,
Phil
What a wise beautiful woman you are. I am so glad you are my sister and I have access to that wisdom when I so need it. Thanks for reminding to push forward and live with joy instead of fear.
Love, Mimi